Congealed in a laboratory at the University of Berkeley, I was the by-product of a DNA experiment which involved the cultivation and fusing of DNA remnants of Nietzsche, Harry Connick Jr. and a velociraptor. The resulting being me in this fleshy vessal with the innate hate for the church, love of music and desire to hunt down and conquer a T-Rex. I eat fresh stem cells for nourishment and enjoy drinking fluids from the broken spine of god. My only goal in life is to never ride a tandem-bike.
Michael applied to be on The Amazing Race because his then-girlfriend (now wife) Kathy wanted to. He had never seen the show.
Michael enjoyed the Porto, Portugal stop on the Race. "Stopping the goal kick in Portugal" was his favorite Race task. "Easiest task ever." He continues, "Can't remember any tasks from any other seasons, seeing the other seasons were so forgettable and all the contestants were so homely." His best memory involves "having a free beer in Aberdeen, Scotland at 1 in the morning (not aired)." He would have liked to race with Zach. "I would have loved to have gotten carried to a pile of cash!"
Danny and Oswald (TAR2) were a Race team that Michael admires. "These two were running the Race at my speed. You don't have to run all the time, especially when you have a six-hour lead on 5 other teams. Relax. Put your heads back on, chickenheads."
The Amazing Race has given Michael "a platform to piss off a lot of fans. My racer website has been a constant source of enjoyment. I've often misled the masses with false casting information and other race-related ruses, abusing my own stature in the world of TAR. Then I sit back on my throne of lies and watch them fumble about on their message boards, trying to validate what I've said."
"I'd do [the Race] again in a second, as long as I could upgrade my partner. I'd need to run the Race this time with someone who understands that tandem bikes are mad corny."
As for editing...."I've been witness and victim of editing. I understand all my brethren who got the shaft on the cutting room floor. I never drowned swimming with the dolphins. I didn't pick a kayak because I was scared of the jet-ski. Who the hell is scared of a jet-ski? The editors are evil."
These days, this native of Oakland, California lives in San Diego with his wife Kathy and Gatsby the cat, "killer of mice, birds and rabbits (sometimes children)." He's a computer technician who spends time "making music, creative writing, Xbox 360, and mentally abusing my wife." He's currently writing a movie script and attempting to procreate. He's also looking into permanent relocation to Italy or Spain.
